“That caption wasn’t funny enough” “Your reels are too self indulgent” “Does anyone even care?” Shake hands with the nasty thought patterns that seem to trickle their way into my brain on occasion as a business owner. That pit in my belly after hitting the “post” button as I start to refresh my phone waiting for some love hearts to eventually overshadow my self doubt. Whilst I value social media for its creativity and connection, I also know its ability to feel isolating and comparative. It may sound contradictory to have these thoughts as someone who specialises in social media marketing as a business model, I think its nuances are worthy of exploration and discussion.

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For someone who is trying to navigate the complexities of social media for business, how do you handle the uglier sides of the platform? 

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I’ve had an interesting relationship with social media over the years. With time, I realised how much I was leaning on story reactions, likes and comments to make myself feel good. When my toilet seat had comically broken one morning before work, my first reaction was to grab my phone to take a photo for my story (‘Mondays, amirite?’), I caught myself in the moment and shook my head -  something needed to change. That dependency, the inability to be present, was not sitting right with me. I desired boundaries that enabled me to live life more authentically and not get sucked into the trap.

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And it’s pretty easy to do. Studies have shown that brain activity changes when you receive likes and engagement. An fMRI study was conducted to analyse the effects of ‘likes’ in adolescents brain activity in 2016. fMRI is a type of imaging that can pinpoint the changes in blood flow in different parts of the brain and can indicate the location of brain activity. The participants in this fMRI scan exhibited greater brain activity when they were shown photos with more likes. When their own photos received likes, the brain’s reward center was also activated. There have even been numerous studies that identify the affects social media can have on self esteem, body image and desire for plastic surgery, particularly with young men and women. 

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While I had had stints of de-activating accounts after break-ups and periods of self care, in May 2021 I made the call to deactivate my Instagram for the long haul. I went 1.5 years without my personal Instagram, using my food hobby Instagram account whenever necessary for work. It may not seem like a lot for someone who doesn’t rely on the platform, but the break was very much needed. I enjoyed not having the instinct to pull my phone out of my purse whenever the food arrived at the table, and I found catch ups with pals more interesting having not known what they’d been up to, let alone what they had for breakfast the day prior. 

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To be completely frank with you, I was nervous to need Instagram again when I started my business. I had a feeling I would slip back into old habits and rely on it too much. Heck, I even considered NOT starting an Instagram for my business. However, due to the nature of what I do and offer, I knew it was an important element for my strategy and I set out to do things a bit differently this time.

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I began my social media journey with strict boundaries, but I’ve definitely found that with time these started to dwindle. While I’m definitely not perfect and my relationship with the platform has changed due to other reasons such as getting a bit older and having a stronger sense of self, I have found a few tips helpful that I thought I would share if this is something that lands for you. 

1) Hide the Likes Count 

This may be a controversial thing to say as someone who has customers pay me to handle their social media for them, but to me, curating content and elevating a visual is way more important than getting caught up in a number of likes. That post may not go viral overnight, and that’s okay. I’m a firm believer that if your content speaks to your brand and you can feel good about what you put out there, then people will pick up on this. If you’re posting authentic content that reflects YOU and your business that’s about all you can ask for. 

2)  Manage Time Spent 

Being more present was an important boundary for me, so I try to take my quick videos for reels if I’m shooting lifestyle content, then put my phone away afterwards. Did you also know that you can set alerts to notify you when you’ve spent certain periods of time on the platform? If you want to do this, go to your Instagram settings, search “time spent” and choose the limit that suits your lifestyle. I will say, this number tends to fluctuate, especially if I’m feeling sad or hungover, I notice the scroll count goes up which is interesting because I know that it only makes those feelings worse!

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3) Be Vulnerable 

Social media has become the highlight reels of our lives, showing the best outfits, holidays, the ‘day for its’, and the ‘wish you were here’s’. Of course there is nothing wrong with celebrating the good times or the photos where you think “damn I look cute here!”, but I also encourage you to share the hardships too. It’s so refreshing to see unfiltered photos and hear stories from people’s real lives. Why not talk about how you overcame some obstacles in your business journey or share some of the things you wish you knew when you were starting out and why? I am so happy we are starting to see this shift and I would absolutely love to see more of it. 

4) Minimise Time on the Explore Feed 

The explore feed is such a time warp for me. I do my best to be mindful of this and exit the app when I feel like I’ve just been sucked into a 10 minute scroll of baked feta recipes and hair tutorials. I do value the connection side of the platform so I feel like my usual program is to watch my first few stories, scroll down the feed for a bit and maybe have a quick look at the explore feed then bounce the f*ck out of there! 

5) Mute or Unfollow People that Don’t Uphold Your Values 

You know the saying, you are the company you keep? This isn’t any different to your social media circle. You are what you consume, so don’t surround yourself by people that make you doubt your worthiness or question your success. On the opposing side, if you find accounts that make you feel good or motivate you with feel good stories and mantras - get notifications for their posts! I have noticed that seeing Instagram models wearing bikinis is a bit triggering for my self esteem, so I don’t follow any influencers other than those that inspire my business.

6) Post Later On 

One thing I’ve been trying to do recently is post stories days AFTER the moment has passed, sometimes even in bulk. I find this is helpful because it keeps me present in the moment when it’s actually going on, particularly if I’ve already taken a photo or video clip for a reel. If I then have to take the time to pick a font, location sticker and tag a business it takes me even further out of that moment.

7) Notifications Off

When I set my account up, I chose to turn off notifications on my lock screen for likes and DMs so that I would get less caught up in the numbers and validation as they rolled through. This enables me to check my Instagram in my own time rather than distract me from a moment I’m trying to be more present in.

8) Shake It Off (Literally) Before Hitting Post 

Nervous to launch that new product or put that particular piece of content out there because your self doubt is getting too loud? My lovely coach Chloe Adriana once suggested to me to shake it off - literally, before making a post that feels a bit out of your comfort zone. Yeah, I’m for real. Literally play a song that pumps you up, jump out of your chair and shake your hands, arms, head and legs to release any tension or anxiety build up. Take a breath and hit that post button, you got this!

Whether you’ve got tough skin or feel vulnerable in the digital battlefield, just know that everyone does their business in their own unique way! The fact that you are putting yourself out there and taking a chance is absolutely worth celebrating. We’re all human, so don’t beat yourself up if you find your ego and comparison levels ebb and flow throughout this journey. Make content that feels good and nurturing to YOU and your business, and find your own version of balance between real life and screen life. And just know that we’re all rooting for you. I know I am! 

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xx Megs